


Happening

by Minkey222



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm, The brothers help the reader, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 12:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7532218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minkey222/pseuds/Minkey222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know what happened, what changed- but one day I was coping and the next I held a freshly sharpened knife to my wrist...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happening

**Author's Note:**

> I need to stop doing this but what ever. Please comment.

I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for it to get this far. It started as a small thing, really- It didn’t mean that there was something wrong with me, not at all, I was just doing what I had to do to get by. A nick here, a scratch there, nothing, really. Then- I don’t know when- it changed. I’m not sure what caused it; I’m not sure if it was sudden or gradual. All I know is that one day I’m coping just fine and the next I have a freshly sharpened knife to my wrist and tears on my face and thought in my head of _where did it all go so wrong?_ The dig of the sharp tip in my flesh was enough to make me scream, the slicing point splitting skin like butter and blood welled up in the wound before the knife had even been moved from the incision. I pushed it in again and again until I had a row of cuts too straight to be normal. That was only the beginning. It continued, on and on, I kept spiraling deeper and deeper into this crevice. Soon enough, it wasn’t about coping anymore. It wasn’t just about getting by. I’m not sure what it was about by this point, all I knew was that it was happening.

That’s how they found me, you know? A dozen gashes in my flesh, scars visible everywhere, knife in my hand and blood dripping down onto the floor off of my fingertips. I heard the shouting, I heard the door open, I even turned to look at them, but I was blank- Numb even. I just looked at them with this blank stare boring into their souls. They saw what was happening, they saw what was going on and they were taken aback. Sam looked sad, Dean looked shocked. I didn’t think- I wasn’t thinking. I dropped the knife and the boys roared into action; Sam rushing forwards and grabbing me before I could hit the floor, Dean running to get first-aid. I was pulled from the mess that I had created, carried bridal-style to my bedroom and laid on my bed. Gentle hands caressed my mangled arms as they wrapped the rough bandaging around the sluggishly bleeding wounds. I felt the sharp pinpricks of the needle stitching my pieces back together, but all of a sudden I didn’t crave this pain. My mind flinched every time the foreign metal tugged at the irritated edges. This isn’t what I wanted. This wasn’t what I had planned. For a time, I wanted to hurt, I wanted the pain- But this? No, I never wanted this. I _never_ wanted to hurt my friends. Sam was at my bedside as Dean patched me up. He smoothed down my hair on my forehead and murmured reassurances. I wasn’t conscious, but I wasn’t unconscious- I was in that stage where you are too awake to be unconscious but not aware enough to be conscious. But even in my drowsy state I registered the loving tone that these boys- my _brothers_ in everything but blood- was giving me. It created a warm feeling in my chest, blossoming through my bosom and spreading throughout my body until I could feel it in the tips of my fingers. I don’t know what happened, what changed- All I know is that it did happen. Now I know, though, is that it can change for the better. It will happen.

**Author's Note:**

> Bad ending, I know. Sorry not sorry.


End file.
